Die hard fans in the mood for vengeance

I’m going to start this blog by letting you in on a little secret. I think I may regret this but I’m going to tell you anyway. Are you ready? Here goes….

When I was 15, I joined the Harry Connick Jr Fan Club.

Now I know that some of you may want to stop reading this now. Some of you may want to go further and make some abusive comments on my blog. Hopefully none of you will try and track me down and hurt me for this. I was young(ish) and impressionable and liked that big band swing thing. I even went to a gig (if you can call it that – half the audience had dinner jackets on).

That’s my shame now, but at the time it all seemed perfectly reasonable. I listened out for any new album releases and read the bi-monthly news letter cover to cover. I was aware that HCJ wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that was fine. If I heard any negative comments about him, I would smile and internally note that the person responsible had the IQ of a half crazed Tottenham fan and was basically an idiot. I would however keep these ideas to myself.

So I was surprised recently at the response of some of the fans of Amanda Holden on twitter this week (yes, she has many apparently).

It all began with a strange and silly conversation about new comedy ideas for ITV programs. I had suggested to my enormous twitter following (66 and counting) that a sitcom based on The Kray Twins running a bowling alley starring Ant & Dec could be a winner. I even had a name in mind that I never got round to tweeting. Turkey Beserky. Not my best but there you go.

Someone suggested that it didn’t have to be funny as it was on ITV and someone else went a step further and suggested that if we put Amanda Holden in it, it wouldn’t need actors either as she is so bad (please see Big Top – or rather, don’t. You’ll need to rip out your brain using a blunt spoonectomy afterwards).

My friends (but strangely not I), were inundated with levels of vitriol usually reserved for politicians or Gary Glitter (same difference). It seems that Ms Holden is enormously talented. Asked if she was better than Meryl Streep, the angry tweeter responded with “Never heard of her”.

A twargument (trying to get this word to catch on) ensued and lasted for most of the evening. It even earned a #tag on twitter #amandaholdenspat. Alas it didn’t quite have the legs to reach the trending charts.

People didn’t like having their idol (their word) sullied by a bunch of talentless nobodies (I think they meant us). They weren’t going to let this giant of the theatrical world be besmirched by unsophisticated oiks. Retribution was required. All they got were a few terse replies and a big tablespoon full of scorn.

I guess I’ll never know how these people can become so slavishly loyal and committed to a minor celebrity, or any celebrity for that matter. It’s right in there with people weeping openly when Princess Di or Michael Jackson died. Fine if you knew them, otherwise get a grip and get on with it for goodness sake.

We seem to cling to celebrity in this day and age as a sign of greater things. I can’t explain why. If we are going to defend something with the vigour and belief of a Spartan soldier, surely it should be for something better than a purveyor of “Britain’s got talent”?

My own days of fandom and idolisation are over. Although, I wonder if Michael Buble has a fan club…..?